#27 scars

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. " - Khalil Gibran

I will no longer be ashamed of my scars, but let them be a reminder of what, through the grace if God I have endured... The incredible 22 year journey that my Shepherd has walked me through.

#26 see through

I had a thought today.

Isn't it funny how we, as imperfect human beings judge so easily, so quickly, and so frequently?

But isn't it also true that we sin so easily, so quickly, and so frequently?

And we serve a God who IS perfection.  Who knows NO sin. Who sees EVERYTHING in us, everything we've done, thought, said, wished, prayed, caused....

So this God, who knows every shameful thing about us, who could so easily point the finger, has chosen to accept and love us regardless.  When we come before him in repentance, he always chooses forgiveness, and then casts our shame into a little thing I like to call "the sea of forgetfulness".

It makes no sense.

We are all too human to fully comprehend it.

#25 Lost in Transition

It has been a while...Its been a crazy couple of weeks.

A friend used this term last night during a chat.  She felt as though her heart was getting "lost in transition".  Do you ever feel like that?  Transition is an amazing thing.  Without it, we stay the same - we are static and immobile - and unchanging.  

But I also know that static and immobile and unchanging can be comfortable and nice.

It is winter here and I find it hard to get out of bed.  So hard in fact that I am having to stop putting my electric blanket on because the level of comfort it induces is not condusive to ever getting up.

Life is a little bit like this for me lately.  I feel like there are adventures for me to tackle, and places God is urging me to go...but these adventures can't be undertaken from the warmth of my bed.  They are outside in the cold.  They require some rugging up.  They require some discomfort as i get myself out of my warm comfort zone, and head outside into the big bad world.

So there I am.  In transition.  Uncomfortable with how comfortable I have become, knowing that its time for me to get moving.

I don't know what it is going to look like, but I know that I'm stupid if I'm disobedient.

His plans for me are for good, and not for evil.  To give me hope and a future.

I'm down for all those things.

Bring on the cold.

#24 Borders

I am in borders. I like borders a lot. I like that it has a gloria jeans coffee shop. and wi-fi access (albeit 5000 bucks an hour). I like that you can read the books and not buy them and noone gets angry. I don't understand why the mills and boon romance novel stand is smack bang in the middle of the car magazine section.

No I did not search it out.

Awkward.

I just re read excerpts from Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz". Its so beautifully written. You should check it out. He's writing a screenplay about it. I look forward to seeing it. Maybe they will sell the DVD in Borders. I'd buy it.

#23 pretending

What is it inside of us all that feels the incessant urge to convince everyone around us that we're worth it? That we're actually really cool. That we actually have a lot to say. That we are the kind of person they should want to have as a friend.

I think its possible that we all feel the need to do this. We're all as insecure as eachother. We're all as desparate to be accepted as the next person.

What if we all just stopped pretending, and stopped trying to convince the world of our merit. What if we all just got over our insecurities and chose to walk in the contentment that we're all imperfect, that we all have awkward moments, and that we all look a bit ugly without our make up on.

I know I do.

#22 for katie

you will change the world

#21 forgiveness part II

"Selfishness has never been admired."
-c.s lewis

good clive, good.